Man’s Shadow Twin holds both masculine and feminine.
But man despises the feminine within himself.
He seeks it in women. Rejects it in himself. And in doing so—becomes unbalanced.
Man’s shadow twin has two opposites, it represents the deepest most cruel desire that possesses men, which he is unconscious of, it represents both his masculine and feminine principle, man is unconscious of his feminine principal since anything that seems utterly not masculine for him is disgust, he seeks the feminine in women rather himself and despise his feminine principle, therefore man’s shadow require both principles: both masculine and feminine, not one but the two principles.
You must learn to recognize the feminine in you, as in it is the one that complements the masculine in you, yet you do not want it, to you, you think it makes you less of a man, yet you do not know that the most masculine man has a feminine side in him, that nourishes his soul and keeps the king within him in balance.
If you rise too fast, without your roots—you fall. The wheel becomes a void. The hole is not a danger. It is your way to the Self. The eternal center. Your ambition chokes you. Your ego wants to rule, not serve. You blame others for your pain—But it’s you who harms yourself.
As you rise above men and events, you will be in your heights, you will feel like a rapidly moving wheel and you will ling into the golden heights that comfort you, and now, you cannot go back to the depths, as in you are afraid of them, yet the depths is what took you to heights, and if you do not acknowledge them and swing from depth to heights, they will pull you down to the underworld, where you will seek the heights yet again like a snake eating its tail.
The fast ascent to the heights will require balance otherwise you will breath an empty void, heights is what man strives for, yet in his depths, his shadow twin exists, left alone, ignored, suppressed and hateful.
When you ascend to your depth, you encounter your opponent — you try to fight him, but the opponent never fights back, he cannot strike back, and he cannot die.
He is the part of you you try to outgrow too quickly. But you must not rise too fast without anchoring the roots, since the wheel will sweep you away and fling you into the void, into the darkest alley.
The maiden is a messenger from your own self telling you not to escape, but to prepare for what is yet to come.
The choking of your shadow twin is your own ambition. Your drive is noble, but your ego still wants to dominate. It must serve, not rule. Therefore you choke yourself and you hurt yourself thinking that his harm is made by others, yet you are the one harming yourself from the beginning.
The great hole is not dangerous. It is the embodiment of your Self. The infinite center you orbit. If you rush, you’ll fall. If you listen, it will open. Your black event is your soul’s test of your raw, primordial energy that you believe you possess.
But that energy hasn’t vanished. It’s been repressed.
Your own ambition chokes you, and your own virtues and discipline turn against you, stifling your vitality, and takes your blows silently, absorbing the self-hatred and inner conflict you inflict upon yourself. Your shadow twin then shields you from losing yourself entirely in unconscious desire. He is the grounding force you resist.
Therefore you find yourself in the psyche itself – a place of ancient structures and broken tools that laugh at you like demons, each one a failed attempt at wholeness.
When you are in the heights, you are caught between two extremes: ascetic withdrawal as a monk and the pull of primal desire and validation which are the events.
You resist your Shadow Twin, misinterpreting his presence as an external threat or madness.
My friends, solitude is valuable, but your total withdrawal cuts you off from the fruits of life. Discipline is necessary, but crushing desire destroys vitality. Spiritual aspiration is noble, but rising "too fast" without acknowledging the depths leads to the cold void, descend to integrate, ascend to act, repeat.
